If there is any time of the day that I dislike, it is mid-morning. A little later actually. The misery hour for me is 11 am to noon.
The day is half over; and my housework at this time is almost but not quite done.That bright light seems fashioned to show up every dust particle I’ve missed swiping at; it’s too early to have lunch, too late for the second cup of coffee, too late to finish reading the newspaper, and now there is a sinking feeling in my stomach…..
I wondered why it was so. At this age, there’s nobody to tell me what to do or not, no one to criticise. So where does that feeling of despondence come from? And then I remembered.
I was around ten when I started hating 11 o’clock. In our Bombay flat, I could hear the strains of all those Marathi bhavageet (to this day, Bhatuklichya khelamadhli raja anik rani makes me feel sick and dreary), smell the varan and the bhajis being cooked in all the surrounding flats. And the clock hands inching towards school time. So? Why should all this evoke such miserable feelings?
Rewind some more. That was the year all my friends started morning school. I was the only one in the afternoon shift. From our third floor flat I would watch everybody walking to school at 7 o’clock. I could hear them chattering and laughing; some of them would wave a cheerful hand to me as they turned the corner. I would come inside feeling very lonely and sorry for myself. Much later, I would get ready for the walk alone to school. Sometimes, to the strain of beautiful but extremely melancholy songs, I would remember some homework I had forgotten. Oh, how I drowned in self-pity then!
At last, mystery solved! Also, some things just got reinforced- friends and people have always played an important part in my life, music affects me in various ways and I dislike walking alone.
That year, as I walked to school alone, I met a classmate and friend who also walked alone and we became very close friends. That friendship continues. One more learning there. My grandma always said Everything happens for good.
So now do I like the ‘ misery hour’? Naaaah, not yet! I understand why I don’t like it is all. One step at a time.
