A few days ago a dear friend was discussing the changes he was making in his business. He did not want his son to inherit his troubles, so he was working day and night. And of course, ‘why should I say anything? Isn’t it obvious to him? ‘ Wellllll, no sir, it isn’t always obvious! That night I wrote this –
Tell your child how hard you work to give him a good future, what your dreams are for him. Don’t just silently go on, thinking it’s obvious what you are shaping. What’s obvious to you may not be to him.
We mothers, too, are guilty of it, but we do have our moments. ” Do you know how I slave to give you a clean home/ a hot meal/ etc etc?” making it clear to the child how hard life is. Which mother has not said this in despair or in anger?
But the father does not. In some strange streak of solidarity, every single father believes in keeping mum. My father did. My daughter’s father does. Your child often needs you to spell out all the things you do for her, to tell her how much of an effort you put into creating that loving and secure background for her. She deserves to know how hard you work, how keenly you wish to remove from her life the obstacles you had to face and overcome. At 15 it is not so obvious, at 30 it is. But the realisation may be too late for some. So speak up, Dad!